I'm pretty sure no one actually reads this, but for some reason I find these blog posts to be very cathartic and so tonight, I write for me! I'm hoping, however, that somehow by the end of this I will find a way to make it relevant to the women in music theme of my blog...stick around to find out if I can! ;)
Has anyone else started to hate the holidays? They are supposed to be a happy time full of love and laughter, but I always end up feeling that despite those things I feel emptiness. I try to focus on my blessings and all the wonderful people in my life, but it just isn't the same anymore. As a little girl, Christmas was the most exciting day of the year. It was so magical. I wish I could bring that magic back. I wish I could get excited about putting up the tree and wrapping the presents...instead of it all feeling like a chore. In some ways, I think the fact that it ISN'T the same anymore causes my sadness...
This Christmas was one of the best I have ever experienced with my family, but it also marked the end of childhood traditions and the beginning of something entirely new. I won't go into details, but things are pretty rough right now and tonight I'm really wishing I had someone to be there for me through all of these changes.
So, I wanted to find a song that could both lyrically and sonically capture my feelings tonight. Here we go: "Answer" by the beautiful and talented Sarah McLachlan.
I will be the answer
At the end of the line
I will be there for you
While you take the time
In the burning of uncertainty
I will be your solid ground
I will hold the balance
If you can't look down
If it takes my whole life
I won't break, I won't bend
It will all be worth it
Worth it in the end
Cause I can only tell you what I know
That I need you in my life
When the stars have all gone out
You'll still be burning so bright
Cast me gently
Into morning
For the night has been unkind
Take me to a
Place so holy
That I can wash this from my mind
The memory of choosing not to fight
If it takes my whole life
I won't break, I won't bend
It will all be worth it
Worth it in the end
'Cause I can only tell you what I know
That I need you in my life
When the stars have all burned out
You'll still be burning so bright
Cast me gently
Into morning
For the night has been unkind
I chose this song because, well to be honest, I searched my iTunes and it was one of the first songs I saw haha...but truthfully, the melodic line, tone, and lyrics of this song are so in line with how I'm feeling tonight. I like it, because, even though it's a love song, it sounds kind of sad. All I can say, is I would give anything for someone to "cast me gently into morning, for the night has been unkind." I know we are supposed to be positive all of the time and focus on the future outcome, but I honestly think that is just crap. Change sucks. And it sucks right NOW. Truthfully, I don't care how happy I will be about it a year from now. That being said, I'm not saying change is bad...it's just tough. And boy, wouldn't it be nice if we had someone to hold our hand through it all? If you're lucky enough to have that someone, don't let go!
In the meantime, any takers? ;)
XOXO,
Kristin
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